I’m an actor, I’m an artist, and I’m a failure.
I just blue myself.
There’s always money in the Banana Stand.
I’m afraid I just blue myself again.
I’m afraid I just made a huge mistake.
I’m a professional never-nude.
I’m an actor slash therapist, I’m an acting therapist.
I’m a bit of a monster.
I’m a failure as a father, but I’m beginning to be a pretty good failure as a woman.
I’m really more of a plate spinner.
I’m not a shrimp, I’m a man!
I’m not a chicken, you’re a chicken!
I’m a sex addict. It’s a real thing!
I’m afraid I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run, if you will, so I’m afraid I have something of a mess on my hands.
I’m not a star, I’m a talent.
I’m a recovering comma-holic.
I’m an artist, I’m sensitive to my work.
I’m always looking for something to fill this hole.
I’m unbreakable!
I’m addicted to coffee and cigarettes.
I’m a constant victim of comedy.
I’m an analrapist, and damn proud of it.
I’m a man, I’m a man!
I’m a doctor, but not the kind that helps people.
I am a never-nude. There are dozens of us!
I’m a professional floor model.
I’m an actor, I’m here to entertain you!
Tobias Funke Quotes – Hilarious Moments from Arrested Development’s Quirkiest Character part 2
I’m a pacifist, but if you don’t shut up, I’m gonna slap your face!
I’m a danger to my own buttocks.
I’m a magician with words.
I am a total pro.
I’m a magician in the kitchen, a surgeon in the living room, and a lover in the bedroom.
I’m a star, I’m a star, I’m a star!
I’m invincible!
I’m a smart, strong, sensual woman.
I’m a sucker for a man in uniform.
I’m a giver, I always give in the bedroom.
I’m a loose cannon, but I get results.
I’m a man of many talents.
I’m a master of disguise, I can be anyone I want to be.
I’m a perfectionist, I can’t settle for anything less than perfect.
I’m a believer in the power of positive thinking.
I’m a poet, and I don’t even know it.
I’m a fan of myself, I think I’m pretty great.
I’m a bundle of contradictions, but that’s what makes me interesting.
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